In turning 30 today a lot has changed in my life, but then again a lot has stayed the same. Admist all of this I have learned quite a bit, maybe more than the average 30 year old, maybe not, but as far as my life goes I am learning to tell myself I’ve done good so far.
1. Whether you like it or not you become more like your parents than you would hope, it’s up to you to keep what you love and work to change what you don’t, once you are 30 it’s not their fault, but rather yours as an adult to do something about it.
2. Family really is the most important thing in life. My Pop’s would say this over and over again to me and my sisters and I would roll my eyes and in my head tell him to shove it, but now that I’m 30, family really is the most important thing and I would do anything to help my family and keep them together and safe. And now that I’m 30 realizing that it is still possible to mend broken family relationships as long as both parties want to.
3. Sticks and stones will break your bones, and words really do hurt people, and there comes a point where you must learn not to let those people do that, either speak up or get rid of them, as an adult you have that choice and right.
4. Don’t confuse being nice with being kind. Being nice is something you feel like you have to do because that is what your mother says to do or what society tells you to do, being kind is genuine and comes from the heart, once you are 30 the hope is that you have figured out the difference and are no longer in high school.
5. School is not as important as the school of life. Don’t get me wrong people need an education in today’s world, but in my last 30 years I have realized (at least for me and my kids) having an education does not mean you are an asset to society. Welcome to the school of life.
6. It’s your choice to look out around you and become what you see or rise above it. I have learned so far that blaming others does not make anything better, only things more complicated and you less credible.
7. I have learned how to take a travesty like losing a child and turn it into a thousand and one blessings, because each day I wake up I choose to see it that way.
8. Only you can change your way of thinking, therapy only works if you want it to, otherwise it’s just you listening to yourself complain, hoping for validation for the poor choices you have made or the ones you are too afraid to make (Only speaking from experience).
9. People lie and make excuses because they themselves don’t believe that their truth is good enough.
10. I spent many years asking God “why me”, and the answer I have finally got is “because you can handle it”. Never underestimate yourself.
11. I have survived an eating disorder one doctors said I never would, learn to use the doubts of others as fuel to strive further than anyone ever imagined.
12. Having many friends who barely know you and probably talk behind your back the second you walk away, is not as important as having a friend that you can go to with anything and will never judge you.
13. Everything happens for a reason, whether you like to admit it or not, and if you choose to believe otherwise where/what will that get you?
14. The tongue is the sharpest sword and as a teenager my parents would ask me to think twice about what I said, now that I’m 30, I get it, it really is better to say nothing at all than to say something unnecessary, and when you do say something, be still and humble yourself rather than make it worse.
15. Speak up for what you believe in, others may not understand but trust your gut, few people truly do and it often shows through envy, anger, disappointment, lust, greed, misunderstanding and insecurity because you speak what they won’t, hold steady and remember why you spoke.
16. Replacement parts are never as good as originals so be kind to your body and don’t put off aches and pains as a part of the aging process, get up and move.
17. Stop blaming others for the changes you are too lazy to make yourself, I have learned to take full responsibility of my heath, happiness, financial status, children and lifestyle, ownership is a wonderful thing and when you take that back over yourself you can start living again.
18. Raise your own kids. We all have a story and all have our challenges, but our kids are a direct reflection of our parenting, I refuse to blame others for my kids and take 100% responsibility for their care and education and will not give that up because everyone else is.
19. Excuses are reasons to make us feel better that we are giving up and don’t really want to try.
20. Don’t say on social media what you would not say to someone’s face (just saying).
21. Having been insecure for most of my life, the best way to gain more confidence about yourself is to put yourself in the position of your insecurity and face it, deal with it and it will pass.
22. Technology is killing us. Granted I use it a lot for my business but it has left many isolated and opinionated-only without consequences, void of real experience and with a chip on their shoulder. I refuse to use technology as a babysitter, a way to make people feel sorry for me or to make myself something I am not. I will use it only for good not for evil.
23. In the words of Suzie Orman “People first, then money, then things”. I think we are backwards.
24. The people that want to nit-pick at you and point out all of your flaws are probably the people that are actually doing that to themselves but projecting it out onto you. Show compassion, but don’t be a pin cushion.
25. Stop worrying about what others think, easier said than done, but when you shift gears and start to focus more on what you think about yourself it gives you an entirely new perspective.
26. We can’t all be Indian Chiefs (I’ll leave it at that).
27. Quick fixes don’t work, when I find myself interested in a quick fix I ask myself what I am not willing to do fully.
28. Now that I am 30 I will try not to be so hard on myself. I am a very driven person and put more pressure on my life than the average person. Lighten up, you only get this lifetime once!
29. Looking people in the eye when you speak to them, saying thank you, offering a firm grip handshake and thanking people are skills that never get old, and go along way.
30. Now that I’m 30 I have realized many things, many more than just the past 29, but for sake of time I will leave you with one final thought. Life is truly short and there is very little you can actually control in life, we can plan every detail out to our hearts content and have a plan, but at the end of the day that plan means nothing. Keep in perspective what is really important to you.
In my next 30 years I can only hope that they will be as good if not better than the last 30, and if they go as fast as the ones so far I better make sure I don’t get to busy making a life that I forget to simply live.
In gratitude, Namaste.