Having the wish to grow-as you are, is my wish for you.
Welcome to another great month ahead!
I have found lately many people in my circuit have all had the same request, complaints or worry. How do I move forward, how do I become better, how do I attract abundance in various forms. And my initial reaction in my gut is from my own past experience “you work your butt off”. But really, there is more to it than that. Much of my life has been about learning to accept, push forward and to see my greatest potential. And what was drilled into my head growing up was “you are a fighter, don’t give up”.
I watched my parents always extend themselves for the greater good and work very hard for their family (in their own ways), and I too took on that drive. So when you are feeling funky, when you’re in that place- be aware but it’s nowhere to stay.
When I look at how to get out of a funk or to make a change and grow, I often start out by looking at what I am avoiding.
As a yoga teacher if I feel stuck on my mat teaching, my classes feel dull or less than abundant, I then observe what poses I am avoiding, where I feel like I am simply repeating myself, if I’m using my mat in my own life to help curb those issues and help myself and better then help my students.
In my own personal life I have been very conscious as to how I act and react, And what I continually often find and then reflect back to myself is:
- Is what I am seeing and hearing about them or about me.
- Is this something I just need to let go and focus on moving forward, holding on is helping someone or no one?
- Is what I am observing a mirror for me or for them? Or both?
- Am I here to simply be a supporting listener or share?
- We can’t change what we aren’t aware of.
In asking myself the above I can better breakdown the ego and truly expand who I am, take more self-responsibility and as a result, truly help others.
For a very long time, my life was consumed with other people doing things (especially the hard stuff) for me, being passive-aggressive. I would stress over things people said, did, and what I thought people were saying or doing, all they way down to why someone didn’t come to my yoga class Wednesday night or why they stopped coming all together. I’d think it must be because I don’t teach a particular style or that they like someone else better.
All of that and more, I lacked the skills to self-reflect and as a result I was staying stuck in my life unable to move forward as much as I would have liked to, not because of those other people, but because of my self and my inability at that time in my life to self-reflect and be confident in my own self awareness.
Yoga teacher or not, for many we are caught in this style of thinking all the time, “why didn’t she call me back when she said she would” or “I know they didn’t invite me on purpose”. To put it frankly- like the world revolves around you. Now the old me would be offended by that statement, but I tell myself this often to be reminded that not everything is going to go my way, not everything is directed at me and, that if I allow it- everything can be a learning opportunity to grow (for those willing).
Yoga teaches me over and over again that it’s not about me and when it is, our only requirement is that we take it, learn from it, and move forward from it. I truly believe that nothing is really bad in life but rather super tough lessons to learn from. I lost my daughter and she has given me so many amazing gifts, with the loss of her, I have as a result gained so much (a hard concept to understand) and she has blessed me in ways unimaginable had life gone otherwise. So when I look at my own life, and observe myself, my actions, reactions, and the people around me, I am then able to start to make change.
Ready to make a change?
- Realize that life is what I make it. I can sit in shit or clean it up, that is truly up to me.
- I can take criticism as an opportunity to be better and grow or to shrivel up and fade away.
- Not everyone is going to like you, agree with you, and see your point of view, but that doesn’t mean you should change who you are because the new trend is skinny jeans and you like boot cut, or everyone seems to like power yoga and you teach Hatha. I trust and believe that as a teacher I am here to offer and learn as well, and whomever I meet is meant to be- this goes for my personal and professional life.
- Learn to say “no”. Chant it in front of your mirror if you have to. We are a people-pleasing society and even when we say “yes” we then have the attitude of no, which is even worse than saying no in the first place. I have learned if you respect yourself and your life than others will too.
- Growth demands self reflection and times of trial. Have you ever noticed when life is going really good how easy it is to forget where you have been, how hard you have worked and all the tools you have cultivated, to only fall again, or feel stuck? No coincidence there; life is not simply an uphill battle, it’s a constant up and down of hills and valleys. I think this type of path is necessary to remind us to keep going and continually step up our game and be someone. Now I’m not talking famous, but rather an asset to life.
- In the end all you can control is your own being. All you can do is lead by example. And I have to say that at one point I was that person that didn’t want to totally commit all the way, but at some point, I realized that to grow you have to plant tons of seeds, because if you have ever gardened, you know that not every seed will go to harvest. And some months there will be a battle of the elements, some day’s critters will be eating the fruits of your labors, and sometimes things just might not grow the way you thought they would. But by the grace of God, you get those few picks that are just amazing, those few seeds that grow and expand beyond what you ever intended.
To grow, yoga teaches us that we need to learn to walk our own path, and as tempting as others paths are, as “easy” as they might seem,and to you, it might very well be, but that path is not your own. Those seeds are not for you to plant, you could offer water, and they to you. But you are your own gardener and in life, all things grow differently, and all good things come to those who wait patiently. But in the mean time, stay the path- no matter what life may rain down on you.
I am truly blessed each day in knowing that I have an abundance of opportunity to take, it’s just how much I want it and are willing to grow a little and make a little change.
From my heart to yours
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