If you had asked me what a safe relationship was as a kid or even a young adult, I would have responded that the other isn’t physically harming you. But there is more to a healthy relationship than what goes on physically. Open, honest, and safe communication is a fundamental part of any healthy relationship.
It has become apparent that there were many emotional processing and communication skills I was lacking and, unfortunately, never learned as a growing kid and teen.
Years ago, I had an addiction and survived because that deep dark struggle brought forth the need for these necessary skills.
Now in my thirties, I am so grateful to have learned:
- Boundaries, what they are, why they are necessary, and how to set them
- Effective communication
- How anger is a surface emotion for sadness and hurt
- Sharing how I feel is to help, not hurt.
- It is not my responsibility as to how others receive my feelings.
- There are healthy ways to communicate even scary, uncomfortable things.
Years ago, I would not have known how to communicate safely and healthily. I would not have known how to validate another’s experience because I would have been too overwhelmed with my own. I would not have known that I could feel one thing and someone else feel another and still be OK.
We all have the opportunity to grow. To learn. To expand. To be stretched.
That the way we respond to situations and things is often more about us than it is about the other person. When I finally understood that my relationship with life, others, and I made a massive shift.
We all can make a shift. That shift can be an uphill battle, or it can be a process where we can all learn from the way we have done things in the past, how others respond and grow from them. Learning effective communication has been a game-changer for me to transform my relationships with my husband, my kids, clients, and my parents. I am no longer tied to the back of their car as they ride the rolling hills of their life and emotions.
If you want to create safe and healthy relationships, you must effectively communicate (PERIOD). Going through the process of recovery has taught me that the first relationship I need to improve is the one with myself. I had to relearn how to process my emotions because the two strategies I was taught were exploding, and holding it in, wasn’t working. That process was long and, at times, overwhelming. But moment by moment, month by month, year by year, things began to change. And for me, yoga had a lot to do with that process. I used my yoga mat to learn to feel, learn to process and learn to take action. Yoga became a place where I rekindled my relationship with my Higher Power and slowly with those that I love. My yoga mat helped me understand that what I was feeling didn’t have to dictate how I lived. And teaching yoga taught me how others felt didn’t have to run my life.
My hope for you today is to step back and breathe.? This coming from the girl who had explosive reactions and took everything personal-step back and takes a breath.
Doing so requires you to do two simple things:
- STOP and step back (literally, step back).
- Inhale and exhale.
Being stuck in our heads makes taking any action twice as tricky. That is why the yoga I know was pivotal in my recovery and learning these vital skills to better communicate with myself and others.
And do not be afraid that even after taking a breath (or many breaths), what needs to be said may not be warm and fuzzy, but it needs to be said…⏩Press on.
Other people try to complicate this process and make you buy into a profound complexity of how it is to learn better, more effective communication. And sure there are additional ways to dig deeper, but what I’m telling you is, until you can stop, step back and take a breath in those moments, all those other fancy steps won’t work. They won’t work because you haven’t called time out. Just like my 11-year-old need a time out to take a moment, breath, and emotionally calm down so he can feel and better communicate. We as adults often need that too.
A business coach once told me some conversations are more effective when there is space (time) put in-between them.
Now some people are against time out because it seems harsh or cold. But a time out gives you time to feel, breathe, and process so you can come back and respect the conversation and relationship. It helps you decide what is truly important to communicate when approaching a time out from a whole place. There have been hundreds of things I wanted to say to the person on the other end. But when I gave it time, I discovered that it was something else, something more profound, or it was more about me and how I was feeling from another situation than the one that was currently in front of me.
My yoga mat was often my time out. I would go there to feel, process, and step away so I could figure out what was going on. See the pattern, see the conversation in a new light, see what I want to say, and sit with the feeling I was having around that conversation, that person and the relationship.
?I have a mantra that I tell myself daily: “I cannot control how others perceive and receive me and what I have to say, as long as I say it with kindness…say it”.
One of the BIGGEST skils I have cultivated when it comes to healthy and safe communication is the ability to “sit” with feelings, and even more sit with the possibility that someone else may not have liked what I had to say, and may project unhappiness towards me. But knowing I have control over how I respond. And within receiving that, an opportunity to learn from it has now become a blessing. So keep breathing my friend, keep feeling, and remember that validating another in no way invalidates you.
May those that need to hear this find it ♥️.
We understand that during this time there are a lot of unknowns. What exactly COVID-19 will do and how things will play out is still a big unknown!
And we deeply appreciate each and every one of you. Everyone is being affected by the current state of our country and world. From family life, to work life and it’s times like these that we often throw self-care practices out the window.
It may seem silly but, during this time, I want to suggest we stop and reflect on how we can be a part of the problem or a part of the solution.
Together let’s be a part of the solution!
With the outbreak of COVID-19 impacting our state and local community, we are focusing on doing things we need to do to keep you, our community, our staff, and our facility as safe and as healthy as possible.
For many yoga studios, they are facing challenges with running classes and keep things clean and hoping those who are sick do not come to class. To all those who attend group activities please use common sense when engaging in public activities.
So let’s take this time to make sure we are practicing good hygiene and supporting others to stay healthy!
Here are the current guidelines and announcements from federal, state and local agencies, including the CDC and other health organizations: HERE
Consider the following when out on the road, in the efforts to stay healthy and help others do the same:
1> If you are feeling healthy, keep moving. Keep walking, keep exercising. A healthy body and mind can reduce stress and boost your immune system.
2> Support each other in cultivating a gratitude practice. Dr. Joe Dispenza conducted a study that found: Practicing gratitude for 9-10 minutes, 3 times per day, for 4 consecutive days increases the function of your immune system.
3> Get some quality sleep. Check out our guided meditations to help you get some much-needed shut-eye! Get 7-8 hours of sleep a night. Research has shown that T-cell production increases with consistent good rest and sleep. Naps are GREAT!
4> Consider how you can support the health and comfort of your neighbors and friends. Check up on anyone you know that may have compromised health. Stay connected via phone, text, and email.
5> Be mindful of the source of information. Be thoughtful before sharing or posting. Question information that might be untrue or cause concern.
6> If you have a compromised respiratory system, immune system, uncontrolled high blood pressure, and/or diabetes, stay safe and stay home.
7> If you show any signs of illness (fever, cough, shortness of breath), Contact your health care provider and use common sense. It may not seem like a “big deal” but others may not have as strong of immunity as you do. Consider others and their health as well as your own during this time. It is difficult to discern the difference between Coronavirus, Influenza, the common cold, and allergies.
8> Minimize exposure to Coronavirus (COVID-19) by following the hand hygiene guidelines – washing your hands with soap and water while you sing the ABCs and avoiding touching your eyes, nose, or mouth with unwashed hands. If you are experiencing flu-like symptoms, contact your doctor.
DIY Alcohol-Free Hand Sanitizer: Fight COVID-19:
>>1 Tablespoon aloe vera spray or gel
>1 Tablespoon alcohol-free wich hazel (you can find this at the dollar store, Walmart, CVS)
>1/4 teaspoon Vitamin E Oil (if you can’t find it, don’t stress, you can go without)
>10-20 drops essential oil blends like Young Living Thieves or Doterra On Guard, or DIY your own blend using: cinnamon, myrtle, tea tree, lavender, rosemary. Use what you can find!
It’s important to choose essential oils that are anti-bacterial like the ones listed above. The use of alcohol continuously on your skin can really dry out your skin. By combining aloe vera gel or spray into your mixtures you can nourish your skin as well. I prefer the spray as it’s not so clumpy and easier to mix.
Practice good social etiquette: wash your hands, cough or sneeze into your arm, and use paper towels when opening doors. Or at a minimum just we aware that the germs we spread not everyone’s immune system can withstand.
I am reminded during this time how we get what we give. So during this time give patience. Give kindness. And give good hygiene. You may never get COVID-19, but let’s make sure you don’t make it more difficult for others.
No matter what your personal stands is on our countries current state. One thing is clear, we must show kindness, and remember that although we may be healthy and never get sick or test positive for the Corona Virus, that doesn’t mean we won’t negatively impact another with our choices.
As someone who has an Uncle with cancer, a cousin who today is going in for heart surgery, and friends and family members with compromised immune systems prior to the Corona Virus. I ask you to do your part and ask yourself do I need to go out? Is telling the world I think this is silly on social media helping or hurting? And how can I support others?
Sometimes supporting others is by the following suit and washing your hands and reducing unnecessary trips to the store. And finding ways to support others in new ways. Think of all of this as a means to expand yourself in ways you otherwise wouldn’t.
Now make some DIY hand sanitizer and go wash your hands.
Want to read more?
Check out Hope’s recent blogs:
And we always appreciate it when you LIKE and SHARE our content. It helps us reach more people just like you. During this uncertain time, keep your mind focused and full of positivity, read from accurate sources, and be kind!
It’s people like you that make this world a better place! Keep being you. Keep being amazing. And keep sharing the gratitude and sweetness!
>>>>>An Attitude of Gratitude and Meditations to go with it!
>>>>>Simple Solutions When Life Feels Like a Mess
And remember no matter what, “Girl, Wash Your Hands!”
In honor of washing your hands. Order one of our GIRL, WASH YOUR HANDS TEE’S and we will donate $1 to Project HOPE to aid those who are truly affected by COVID-19.
>>> ORDER YOUR TEE HERE <<<
We have all heard this before: “An attitude of gratitude”. But in the midst of what can feel like uncertainty, it is vital. Let me say that again… it is VITAL that we keep our minds right. Drenching our minds in the news and social media is not going to make things better. But making sure we practice self-care, keep our minds clear and continue to stay calm is something I urge everyone to do.
I went to bed last night thinking a lot about our countries current situation, my life, and what I can do for my family right now and all of you.
Each night my family (my husband and our three kids) and I all pray together and after we all go around and say who or what we want to pray for tonight.
And as we went around I was reminded to not forget the little things. It made me think about how we all can still be grateful for the little things, and remember how we can impact our communities despite such circumstances.
My prayer is for you all to consider a local business to pick up food to go, or inquire about delivery, shipping gifts to that friend or family member or just letting the world know what they are doing as they struggle to remain open, or if they have already made the decision to close.
During this time, I urge you to continue to practice gratitude. To continue to go beyond and help another, even if it means having to take an extra step or two to do that.
Yesterday I made an egg and book delivery (yes I have chickens) to our amazing local cafe Perc Place and I usually just drop and go when delivering eggs or books. But I decided to grab a drink to go and support them.
Perc Place is my office away from my home office and I can’t imagine not having them in my backyard to go to for inspiration. As I stood there in the cafe all I felt was gratitude for the owner and all her staff during this time. So many unknowns, and it’s easy to think “one small act WON’T make a difference”. But, when 10, 25, 100 people all do the same thing. It all adds up. Gratitude adds up!
In order to stay mentally and physically strong in the midst of this unprecedented time. I urge you all to continue to engage in things, activities and with people who lift you up. Help you feel good. And keep you in the right frame of mind. This is VITAL!
What can you do to stay in gratitude each day?
- Go for a walk with your family and talk about positive things
- Get enough sleep
- Drink plenty of water
- Dance in the sunlight
- Write down what you are grateful for each morning
- Listen to meditations or positive recordings/books
Let’s maintain that positive attitude that helps others when we come into contact with them…even if it’s virtually.
I always ask myself “am I a part of the problem or a part of the solution?”
Let’s write out our ideas to make us and our businesses better.
Write out plans and goals that you will do during this pause in life, and what you’re doing afterward.
Then get out any anxiety that may be clouding our heads and hearts out and into the daylight by writing it down. When we write it down, it isn’t as scary.
Then once you write it down… Take action! Get on your yoga mat! Go for a walk! Read, meditate.
You know what?
These can be scary times, but we are so resilient. I’m encouraged by all of the good I see in the world, and how many people are working to help others.
Fred Rogers (aka Mr. Rogers) said in times of crisis, look for the helpers.
I say WE are the helpers.
Let’s keep getting up and taking that time for ourselves each day to better help where we are able.
And to HELP…. I am giving all of my meditations away for $1.
Why a dollar?
Well, I believe that everything is an exchange.
And my heart and soul are in those offerings and I ask that you simply be a part of the exchange back. 🙂 [And these were all professionally recorded just for you.]
>>>>> MEDITATION BUNDLE OF 6 FOR JUST A $1 <<<<<
I believe that we are the ones most responsible for our own health and well-being. It is our privilege that we practice self-care and engage in the right things. And the results will always be better than if we did not.
So remember what you do have control over. Remember how you can impact those around you, by first you being calm, centered, and full of gratitude.